Coping With Loneliness

In the spring of 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy announced that the country was experiencing a public health crisis of loneliness. He backed up his claim with data, stating that about 50% of adults in the U.S. said they experienced “measurable levels of loneliness” even before the COVID-19 pandemic.

As we age, our potential for loneliness increases as we lose family and friends, and chronic illness and hearing loss keep us from connecting with people. The coronavirus pandemic made matters worse, with YouGov, a marketing research firm, reporting that 36% of survey respondents felt more lonely than usual during the lockdown.

Health Risks of Loneliness

Loneliness in small doses is common. Sometimes, we spend too much time on our own or feel socially and emotionally disconnected. Being chronically lonely, however, not only impacts our emotions but can be bad for our health.

Recent studies found that loneliness and social isolation — lack of social support and contact — can increase the risk for:

• Heart disease and stroke
• Type 2 diabetes
• Depression and anxiety
• Addiction
• Suicide and other self-harm
• Dementia
• Premature death

Managing Loneliness

If you find yourself feeling lonely more often than not, there are things you can do to feel less isolated and improve your mood. A good way to combat loneliness is to focus on self-care. Activities can enhance our overall wellness and have multiple benefits.

A regular plan of exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and pursuing activities you enjoy can help you manage stress and enhance your mental and physical well-being.

Here are a few additional approaches to managing loneliness:

Admit You Are Lonely: Some people are ashamed to acknowledge their loneliness because they may seem weak or flawed. Others attribute their feelings to being anxious or depressed. Accepting that you are lonely and understanding you are not alone in your experience can motivate you to take action.

Volunteer: Donating your time to a cause you support provides a sense of purpose that can build self-esteem. Spending a few hours a week at a food pantry or animal shelter or sorting clothes at your local Goodwill store can also help you increase your social circle and connect with people you may not meet otherwise. You’ll fulfill your desire to feel needed while contributing to your community.

Join a Club or Take a Class: Learning something new stimulates your brain while introducing you to people with similar interests. You can find many opportunities at your local library, community center, YMCA, senior center and community college. Apps such as MeetUp can open endless possibilities for finding kindred spirits and new hobbies to pursue.

Keep a Gratitude Journal: Feeling lonely and sad can lead you to forget the positive aspects of your life. Taking a few moments a day to write down the good things and happy moments can brighten your mood and shift your focus.

Go For a Walk: Moderate activity and fresh air can release endorphins to improve mood. Studies show that spending time in nature improves memory and cognition and increases positive emotions.

Phone a Friend: Call someone you share a caring connection with, but take a new approach to the conversation. Instead of falling into the same old pattern of — “How are you?” “Fine, how are you?” “Fine” — practice active listening. When they mention something new, ask them to tell you more and listen to what they say. This can prompt additional engaging questions and discussion.

50 Things To Do To Boost Your Wellness (for Under $10)

Reframe Loneliness

It’s easy — and natural — to dwell on loneliness for its negative aspects, but what if you thought about it as solitude? The difference is subtle but significant. Solitude is a choice to spend time alone doing something meaningful to you. Make a list of activities you enjoy doing alone. It could be practicing mindfulness, painting, writing, baking or other fulfilling interests. When you feel lonely, consult the list and choose the item that appeals most to you. While endless days of solitude also might not be emotionally healthy, reframing some of your alone time can be enriching.

Resist the Urge to Stay “Busy”

It can be easy to fill your schedule with unrewarding activities to help keep loneliness at bay, but busy work is a temporary fix. You will feel more fulfilled by focusing on activities you enjoy or have always wanted to try.

Get Help

It’s easy to feel powerless against loneliness. Talking to a psychologist or counselor can help you come to terms with your isolation and understand that you have control over your situation. Working with a therapist can help you determine the cause of your feelings and develop a plan to improve your situation.

Feeling occasional loneliness is normal, but endless emotional isolation can impact your emotional and physical health. If you see your life as endless days of emptiness and isolation, making a few changes can improve your mood and help you connect with others and new pursuits. Take some time to focus on interests you find satisfying or that spark your imagination. With a little trial and error, you can create a less isolated and more fulfilling life.