And Baby Makes Two…Addressing Sibling Rivalry
The arrival of a new baby can create feelings of jealousy and resentment in your older child, even before the new baby is born. While everyone fawns over your new arrival, your older child can begin to feel left out, lonely, and even angry. These feelings of sibling rivalry can lead to your older child acting out for the attention that they feel is missing.
Once the new baby arrives, your older child may start to talk like a baby again. They may crawl on the floor or want to wear diapers. It’s important to help your child prepare for the new addition to the family while you are still pregnant.
Ideas to Avoid Sibling Rivalry
Here are some tips to help your child adjust to being an older sibling:
- During your pregnancy, talk to your older child about becoming a big brother or sister. Explain the advantages of being an older sibling. This could include the new baby looking up to them or needing advice from them. Ask them if they have any fears or concerns about being a big brother or sister. Bring them to prenatal visits and checkups so they feel like they’re part of the process.
- Be honest with your child about what to expect once the baby is born. Let them know that you and the baby will be sleeping a lot. Give them things to do to help during your recovery. Maybe they can play quietly when the baby is sleeping or put toys away.
- See if your hospital offers sibling birth classes. These classes will show children how to hold and care for a baby and encourage sharing of feelings about being an older sibling.
- Include your older child in the day-to-day activities with the new baby to make them feel included. Kids can help with changing diapers, picking out the baby’s outfit, and dressing and burping the baby.
- Schedule one-on-one time every day with your older child. Whether it’s a trip to the movies, ice cream on the porch or tossing the ball in the backyard, your older child will feel close to you and appreciate the special time.
- While relatives and friends mean well, they tend to focus all their attention on the new baby. Gently remind them to give the same amount of attention to your older child and to speak about topics other than the new baby. If they have gifts for the baby, make sure to have some gifts for your older child too so he doesn’t feel left out.
Soon, your older child will love being a sibling and be more than happy to help out and play with the new baby!
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